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Archive for the ‘ opinions ’ Category

Double Dating

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

We’re all busy and important. So when are you going to find time to pencil in a love life?
Sunday is bike-riding day. Monday’s jog and gym day ( and occasionally a coffee afterwards with a friend).
Wednesday is pay-day market and grocery shopping. Thursday is dinner with friends.
Friday after-work drinks with workmates. Saturday is sleep-in followed by hangover brunch followed by visiting mum and dad by going out to dinner and a gig with friends.
So when you are you going to find time to pencil in a relationship?
For many busy and important singles, their social life is smothering their love life

SCHEDULE HAPPINESS

It’s always exciting meeting with someone you hit it off with. You swap numbers, someone calls the other someone and you make date.
That’s where busy people hit the social brick wall.
“Yeah I’d like to catch up. No Wednesday’s no good and weekends are booked up for me for the next three weeks. I could do the following Wednesday though? You have something on? OK, how about the Thursday, no next week Thursday, the Thursday after that – two weeks?”
It’s not exactly the way to start a beautiful friendship.
You need to give yourself some wiggle room.
If you like the person, you will make the time to see them sooner rather than later.
Still think you’re too busy?
US President Barack Obama (he’s a pretty busy bloke) sets aside some “Michelle time” each day. And look at KerrBloom-Miranda and Orlando. Busy, important and able to make time to see each other.

NEXT PROBLEM

So, you made some wiggle room and you’ve even found some time to wiggle together.
But making time for love is not just an issue for singles.
Like attracts like, which ,means busy, active, sociable people often tend to hook up with other busy, active and sociable people.
And between all the lovey-dovey wiggling, the social engagements suddenly double.
You’re in a couple now, and there’s twice as many dinners/birthdays/shows/family dos to get to. Suddenly your Sunday bike ride and Monday yoga class are memories and you’re struggling to find any time for yourself or even to spend as a couple.
If not managed, this can put strain on a relationship in its vulnerable early stages.
It’s crucial that couples spend one-on-one time together in the courtship and getting-serious phase so they can get to know each other and build trust and a connection.
Time together, time alone, time with your friends, time with friends as a couple. It adds up to a lot of time.
SO how can it be managed?
Naked diary sessions are a fun way to start.
During your diary session, pick one night a week that you can both agree on to be your regular date night for just the two of you.
This way, when making your own social plans, you’ll know not to schedule anything else on that night.
In the early stages of a relationship, try fun, novel things together – it takes the pressure off having to hold an entire conversation over dinner.

REMEMBER YOU

The other things to remember is to maintain your individuality. You don’t have to to everything together.
In fact, it’s better to be a bit unavailable now and then.
You need to maintain a sense of independence.
Keep doing the things you’ve always done for yourself-classes, me time, nights out with friends.
This gives you a chance to miss your new beau and a chance to talk about them with your friends.

Opposite Attract

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

She always toes the line – he always breaks the rules. She likes rocking out in the mosh pit – he prefers chilled-out jazz and blues. She’s a morning person, he’s a night owl.
He is a couch-loving stoner, she’s a clean-living nut.
So how does these people get together? And, more to the point, how do they start together?
Experts agree that we’re attracted to the qualities of an “opposite” personality because they complete us, or balance us.

BOREDOM-FREE ZONED
Dating a carbon copy of yourself can be familiar and comfortable – you like the same food, music and style, and there’s never going to be fights for the remote control. But, after a while, it becomes a bit of yawn.
Opposite stimulate and challenge each other. There’s friction, passion and excitement which can all translate into long-term happiness.

DIFFERENT STROKES

But what happens when opposites clash (which they inevitably will?
According to a relationship consultant, each person needs to respect the other’s view, no matter how far removed it seems from their own.
Wanting your partner to agree with your look, stock and barrel smacks of control freak.
It’s OK to love one another and still have a difference of opinion. In fact, a couple can manage a lot of differences if they respect and listen to each other.
It’s when one asserts that the other is wrong that troubles appear.
Your differences aren’t the problem – it’s the way you treat one another.
For all their differences, opposites in successful relationships will almost always share core values – respect, trust, fidelity, attitudes to finances. The trick is to nurture what you have in common while staying open-minded and positive about your differences – however major they might be.
In the long run. being with an opposite can be good for the individual. It opens you both up to new experiences and perspectives.

V-Family Date