Double Dating
Tuesday, November 17th, 2009We’re all busy and important. So when are you going to find time to pencil in a love life?
Sunday is bike-riding day. Monday’s jog and gym day ( and occasionally a coffee afterwards with a friend).
Wednesday is pay-day market and grocery shopping. Thursday is dinner with friends.
Friday after-work drinks with workmates. Saturday is sleep-in followed by hangover brunch followed by visiting mum and dad by going out to dinner and a gig with friends.
So when you are you going to find time to pencil in a relationship?
For many busy and important singles, their social life is smothering their love life
SCHEDULE HAPPINESS
It’s always exciting meeting with someone you hit it off with. You swap numbers, someone calls the other someone and you make date.
That’s where busy people hit the social brick wall.
“Yeah I’d like to catch up. No Wednesday’s no good and weekends are booked up for me for the next three weeks. I could do the following Wednesday though? You have something on? OK, how about the Thursday, no next week Thursday, the Thursday after that – two weeks?”
It’s not exactly the way to start a beautiful friendship.
You need to give yourself some wiggle room.
If you like the person, you will make the time to see them sooner rather than later.
Still think you’re too busy?
US President Barack Obama (he’s a pretty busy bloke) sets aside some “Michelle time” each day. And look at KerrBloom-Miranda and Orlando. Busy, important and able to make time to see each other.
NEXT PROBLEM
So, you made some wiggle room and you’ve even found some time to wiggle together.
But making time for love is not just an issue for singles.
Like attracts like, which ,means busy, active, sociable people often tend to hook up with other busy, active and sociable people.
And between all the lovey-dovey wiggling, the social engagements suddenly double.
You’re in a couple now, and there’s twice as many dinners/birthdays/shows/family dos to get to. Suddenly your Sunday bike ride and Monday yoga class are memories and you’re struggling to find any time for yourself or even to spend as a couple.
If not managed, this can put strain on a relationship in its vulnerable early stages.
It’s crucial that couples spend one-on-one time together in the courtship and getting-serious phase so they can get to know each other and build trust and a connection.
Time together, time alone, time with your friends, time with friends as a couple. It adds up to a lot of time.
SO how can it be managed?
Naked diary sessions are a fun way to start.
During your diary session, pick one night a week that you can both agree on to be your regular date night for just the two of you.
This way, when making your own social plans, you’ll know not to schedule anything else on that night.
In the early stages of a relationship, try fun, novel things together – it takes the pressure off having to hold an entire conversation over dinner.
REMEMBER YOU
The other things to remember is to maintain your individuality. You don’t have to to everything together.
In fact, it’s better to be a bit unavailable now and then.
You need to maintain a sense of independence.
Keep doing the things you’ve always done for yourself-classes, me time, nights out with friends.
This gives you a chance to miss your new beau and a chance to talk about them with your friends.

