Michelle Read of mXFlirt, an article telling how to survive the dreaded LDR ( long-distance relationship. I’m an avid fan of this column.

I don’t mean to get all Sinead O’Connor, counting seven hours and 15 days since my partner took his love away. For starters, I’d look terrible with a shaved head a la the Irish singer and it’s not like he took his love away forever – just 7000km away to work overseas.

So the long distance relationship has me counting not only kilometers, but also months, weeks and days.
I haven’t quite got to hours and minutes, but if I see another couple kissing passionately, even just holding hands, I might have to start counting to distract myself lest I start Humming Nothing Compares 2U.
At least I know I’m not alone.
Thanks to career, lower-priced airfares, family commitments and financial pressure, long-distance relationships are increasing.

Plenty of other people know that when you’re separated from your partner it can begin to feel like nothing compares to your issues.

Global financial crisis, terrorist attacks and swine flu? Forget it. I’m more concerned that I just hung up from another long-distance phone call feeling lonely, sad and a little insecure because my partner was too busy at work to spend much time chatting to me.

The thing about long-distance relationship is you can be fiercely independent, confident and possessed until the wrong tone of voice ends a phone call; until you hear about someone new in your partner’s social sphere; until you can’t get in touch with your partner when you need to chat; until you want to get physical in a way that Skype just can’t help; and until you try to resolve a disagreement without a hug.

Holding on to your sense of security and happiness in a relationship can be difficult when you don’t have those all-important physical cues for reassurance – a smile, a hug.

You end up in a kind of no-man’s land. You’re alone, but not single or fancy free, you end up at work functions, movies and sometimes even concerts on your own.
Then there’s the inevitability that your partner will make new friends and have new experiences without you; that you could be nervous and a little stiff when you meet again; and that at some stage you’ll have a conversation with a friend that includes the phrases: “I don’t know how you do it”, “Wow you must have huge phone bills” and “How do you know how he’s not cheating on you?
The only one of those worth worrying about is the phone bills.
When your best friend and lover walks out of that departure gate, it’s time to get off the mainstream networks and use phone cards and VoIP, otherwise you’ll end up with no money as well as no partner.

As for worrying about your partner cheating on you or thinking about how you “do” it, put that out of your mind. If your partner was going to cheat on you, they could do it whether you were living together and there’s no way to “do” a long-distance relationship, you just get through it little by little.

MAKE IT WORK
So how do you make a long-distance relationship work?
Be realistic: Understand that it’s sometimes going to be difficult and will always take patience and commitment.
Agree to enter into a long-distance relationship only if you have a solid foundation with your partner and know that you share trust, respect and love.
Have the tough conversation about what you want from the relationship and be clear about how it’s going to work – will you be committed to each other exclusively? How often will you communicate? How often will you travel to see each other? Will one of you consider relocating? How long are you prepared to go long distance?
Stay in touch: Once you’ve said your teary goodbyes (there’s nothing like crying on the shoulder of a Customs official to make you feel better), it’s communication time. Getting in touch with your partner shouldn’t stop at phone calls.
Try photos, videos, emails, notes, letters and present sent in the mail and inexpensive surprises.
My biggest hit? Sending a piece of paper for Valentine’s Day with a high school-style note with checkboxes asking: will you be my Valentine? Tick one for yes; tick two for yes.
Love your independence: Use your spare time to achieve career goals, exercise, learn a new skill or hobby and catch up with friends.
There’s something to be said for a relationship that’s strong enough to deal with distance and I promise, the post-abstinence sex is good. Very good. Nothing compares 2 that.

We’ve all wondered about certain exes- where they are, what they’re up to – but would you use technology to keep tabs on them?
Is it cyber-snooping or just or just a healthy curiosity? A legal love-hunt or the beginning of a stalking addiction?
Read an article of a writer who talk to most people and according to her, they’ll admit to having Google an ex or two.

IN THE BEGINNING
You know how it is; you’re wondering how and where they are and suddenly you’re trawling through 80 pages of namesakes- IT specialists, basketball players and some university professor who’s just written a paper on a coldsore cure.
Never a quitter, you plough on and before you know it, you’re singed up as a fully fledged cyber-stalker.

CYBER SLEUTH
So, why is it so irresistible? Ideally it’s a low-risk, civilized way of sleuthing someone without them knowing about it.
It’s more challenging than Friends Reunited, but no investment is needed in terms of contact.
On the darker side, we run the risk of discovering (if we still care) that out erstwhile lovers’ lives didn’t stop when we/they kicked them/us out.

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS
Googling barely confirms someone’s existence. So what if we draw an absolute blank?
Some said it’s always quite satisfying when you don’t actually find anything. Others gone online a few times to look up a particular lowlife who adid the dirty on them and then finding nothing on them sort of confirming to herself that no what a no-mark loser the other party was.

HIT AND MISS
Which implies there’s some sort of kudos attached to a Google hit.
Not always so.
According to a 29 years old woman, “I googled my ex and found a story from a local paper about him being convicted for drug offenses and burglary, which was sad, but not exactly a surprise.”
Googling “the one who got away” can become dangerous, especially if it becomes an obsession.
It’s one thing to find out, say, that he’s recently been on a charity trek to India or to look up his holiday snaps.
It’s quite another if you start Googling him daily.

FATAL ATTRACTION
A computer-savvy marketing manager is ashamed to say she’s gone even further.
“I found myself digging up information on a gorgeous bloke I had a torrid fling with and his girlfriend. I discovered photos of her and became obsessed. Then I figured out a way of deleting the pictures from the website.”
But be careful – what seems like an innocent search might open a painful can of worms if unreconciled feelings still lurk.
Another girl got a shock when she was Googled by her first true love.
“We’d been together for a few years when I was 16, but it all ended when he two-timed me with my best-friend.
“I moved away and started running a business.
“He tracked me down last year via my website and we met. He said the day day I dumped him was the worst day of his life. It blew my mind, but we’re both married with kids and it’s in the past.”

BLOG OFF
And what of the boom in blogging, where people choose to lay bare their innermost workings for public consumption?
For a guy, who was 30, it was a case of too much information.
“I googled my (now) ex-girlfriend when were still together. She had a blog and to my horror was talking about what a jerk I was and how she banging on about how good the sex with the other person,” a guy said.
It all goes to show that, when we Google, we might find out a few things we didn’t bargain for.
Let’s face it, there’s nothing wrong with casually looking up on an old flame to see what’s happened to them.
But if you’re still feeling bitter, sad or obsessed, you could develop an e-stalking habit what’s hard to break.
In which case: switch off that machine, build a bridge and just get over it.

I really missed her company. We’re partners in crime before while we’re still in Pinas. She was active in blogging, now it seemed like fading. But I know, she will be back in due time. With her upcoming return, for sure they’ll be no more temporary goodbyes. Right dear?
Happy Birthday Samantha Dear.

She is Princess Pairat, 22 years old, single mom. She’s my cousin. I was shock with the news that she gave birth and her boyfriend totally abandoned her. She is raised with a single mother working in a knitting factory but no clear income. Her mother has a big goiter (thyroid on the neck). I’m trying to save money for her operation but it’s not easy because I am a family woman with three kids and we are not rich. We just settled her in Australia and affected with global recession.

Princess tried her best to have a good future. Staying from one relative to another but it seems things are not on her side. She all the time don’t get a good treatment. She felt in love with a man who helped her, support her but used her in exchange. Sorry for my words but this is what I think. They were good in the beginning. They helped each other and even studied in one University. University of Cebu. The guy was nursing and Princess get a tourism course. I don’t know how she survived for a year. The man is like her world at that time. She gave everything. Princess never grow with the love of a father. Her parents separated when she was still a baby and now has another family but also don’t have a good life.  She got supported in small ways by her family including me. The rest  from his beloved man.

Until time came that she got pregnant. Problem started to arise between their good relationship. I forgot to mention that their love was against all odds. Her man’s parents as well as other relatives don’t like her so they were hiding their relationships. His parents will pull him out from the school if they find out that they’re still together. He can’t fight for Princess so he hide her to continue to study and get allowance. Princess has a part-time job while she’s studying. In short, working student. The name of his boyfriend is RC. I want to condemn this guy for his cowardliness in times that he needed much but it’s not in my hands to condemn. Sorry for my words. He wanted his son to be aborted or else he will abandon them both. He was scared because his parents might abandon him and stopped sending him to school. My cousin had a second thought and asked our opinions. Of course we don’t want her to kill such innocent child. She decided to pursue the baby and her boyfriend totally left her with nothing but heartache.

With her whole nine months of pregnancy, she kept on transferring from one relative to another again until end up with her mother. She can’t take anymore how people look at her and accusing her, blaming her etc2x instead of supporting her. She traveled when she’s seven months pregnant from Bohol to Manila Philippines through trucking. She lived with her mother in the factory where she worked and paid P100 per night or 5 dollars US currency. It’s a big money for my aunt because she didn’t earn much and her work is not regular. They don’t even have savings for the her delivery. Yeah what a hard life.

Last week, they traveled to Batangas Province to stay with her brother until she gave birth and she’s already on due. She has two brothers who were all married. Unfortunately don’t have a good life too. She can’t give birth in the small room on the factory. I saw the place and yeah it’s impossible plus they have to pay per head each night. When they arrived at Batangas Phillipines, she started to feel pain. Maybe because of traveling far with her situation was not really good. So they called a midwife. She was supposed to give birth just at home but the danger of giving a first birth is unavoidable. The baby didn’t came out at expected time and she was already so weak and the baby as well. The rushed her to the nearest hospital. Because of all the tensions, they didn’t even think it was a private hospital. She can’t have a normal labor because the baby’s head already swell. Doctors at Madonna General Hospital did an immediate CS Delivery for their safety which charged them all in all P45,000.00 or more than $2000. What big money for people who didn’t even have a savings. The important is the baby and Princess is safe now. Baby’s name is Prince Philly. We contributed money to help them but money raised was not enough. They only raised P12,000.00 or $500+. They still need P22,000.00 or $1000+. They can’t be released in the hospital until they’ll be able to settle their bills. They were supposed to be released the other day. The more they stay long at the hospital, the more their bills goes up. The father of the baby didn’t even care and now denied the baby was his. Only God knows with this kind of people.

I want to extend my help just for them to be released at the Madonna General Hospital, 153 Antorcha St. Balayan Batangas Philippines. Tel. No 043-9122422. But I don’t know how?

Women increase their chances of being lucky in love if they avoid sleeping with men on the first date, scientists say.

Using a mathematical model, researchers have shown that lengthy courtships evolved to allow women to week out unreliable partners.
Prof Robert Seymour, of University College London, used a branch of maths called game theory to explore the dating rituals of men and women.
The findings mirror the advice given to generations of women by agony aunts, big sisters and close friends.
His model is based on the idea that women have the most to lose from any new relationship because they can end up with a baby fathered by an inappropriate – or even absent – father.

It assumes courtship is a battle between the sexes, with both sides compromising on the point in the developing relationship where they have sex.
A male’s willingness to court for a long time is a signal that he is likely to be a ‘good’ male.
Long courtship is a price paid for increasing the chance that mating, if it occurs, will be a harmonious match which benefits both sexes.
This may help you to explain the commonly held belief that a woman is best advised not to sleep with a man on a first date.
The model doesn’t work so well in a society where contraception removes much of the risk of pregnancy. It also ignores social and peer-group pressures on men and women.
It helps how the extended courtship of humans may have evolved in prehistoric societies tens of thousands of years ago.